Sunday, December 29, 2013

My Bestfriend

It's 22 years now and it is at this very moment that I could finally say “I have found my best friend!”. Notwithstanding the struggles I’ve been through with her and despite all the confusions of where things are going, through all the good and bad times, we’ve found the value of the best friendship we both could ever have. I would have to say that I’m certain of saying so even if this might just be the earliest phase of adulthood.

Basing it on experience, I would say that she had I think the most dreadful life we could ever imagine. She’s had more than enough but life is always a challenge to face. With the troubles from the past and in the present, she’s still able to manage her happy, thankful and contented life.  She has had not just the typical pain but all the worst of it. So who am I to grumble about my history, in contrast?

She has not just witnessed all the good things for she was also with me, in the most bad ones. Who would have thought of our duo, right? “Trouble Is A Friend” that’s what we both love to sing and it made sense, in the latter time. We faced life each day with full hopes and prayers and we've got more than just that –US.

My self-improvement was highly attainable with her help and vice versa. We'll both be on that same page for the betterment of each other until the end of time -best friends.

This is actually my year-end tribute for I wouldn't be able to survive this year - 2013, without her ear-splitting, lament, fuming, nagging moments. Lol

Thank You Message

Thank you for all the tears we both cried together. For all the battles we've overcome, together, for all the happy and sad moments we both continue to enjoy and fight together. Thank you for all the staying power. Peace and war happens from time to time. But always remember that no matter how our fights go, I will always be your best friend and I won’t befall on being the people who busted your faithful and joyful life.

Apologies

I would like to apologize for all the blunders and unbothered approach I’m still doing at this time. I couldn't be a perfect fit in this world where we live but I would always appreciate everything that you say whether my ears can take them or not, that’s a promise! I can only live for what I think is right for me. I cannot be the person you have become or you'll still become and we should agree to that. However, I would love to see how we both could turn out with each other, in the coming years of our lives.

Message 

In you, I have found my eldest sister, boyfriend, girlfriend and parents –jam-packed! You were there to shed light on things when I don’t understand how I and my parents understood each other. You were there when the world was against me. You were physically, spiritually and emotionally there when nobody else was. You were my shield when I can’t be a shield of my own. You just keep fighting with me in those nuisances.

All the troubles our friendship had cost are more than deserving of praise for it made all the lessons become a product of the future you and I will have.

Thank you B! (as in... Bunny, Bessy. Bb) I love you very much and I will treasure you without end.


You are most welcome for these mark of respect, you deserve more than this! ;)





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Tuesday, December 24, 2013

How to Celebrate Christmas

Christmas is one of the best holidays everyone could ever celebrate. It is is a yearly occasion that is filled with cheerful and wonderful moments, whether or not you are celebrating it according to religion.

Christmas is celebrated in many many ways around the world and it’s all counted. No matter what you prepare and what you accomplish within such time would be of great value. It doesn't have to be expensive for it only needs to come from the heart.

In the main, Christmas is when Jesus was born so it’s for family and friends to get together. It’s when everybody treats the day as a holiday for each others company. People take advantage of this time to reconnect with the gang and create the same old traditions that they used to do.

Things to Remember



Don’t just be happy for the gifts but be thankful for all that you've acquired. Anything more than that is a bonus.

Be traditional and respect the way others celebrate the occasion, their way.

Understand that some people may find celebrating a hard time especially if serious problems are involved like death. Comfort them most and include them in your good wishes.

Happy Holidays everyone! 

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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

How to Be Strong


Why do others survive difficulty and why do others don’t? Life’s adversities have never immune people on coping up and recovering from the most exhausting condition. For your own mental, physical and spiritual development, you might want to try and follow the following suggestions.

Be strong, in mind. Being strong implies power and having care on one’s own life. Weakness, on the other hand implies on having no power and being vulnerable. In whatever case, there are really things you can and can’t control. But you can focus on other things to make the situation better. Accept things as they are and focus yourself on what’s good for you.

Choose the attitude. We can sometimes be helpless on doing changes in our lives for things can really be challenging. However, you can still be in control on that matter depending on the attitude that you have. Just be positive as it’s the right thing to do at any given circumstances regardless of whatever it is.

For example, if a person is trying to make your life miserable, don’t let it sadden you. Instead, be proud, be hopeful and remember that no one could take away things from you with the right attitude. Remember what Roosevelt said? “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Find your passion in life. People with strong emotions see each day as a gift. They always try to take advantage of what life has to offer. Be mentally and emotionally strong like when you were still a kid and get the most out of it.

Believe in yourself. If you have made it this far, then you can make it through more things. If you take things one at a time, you can then survive what you are going through. Nothing is easy but when you think you’re falling apart, just close your eyes and breathe deeply.

Be wise in choosing your battles. Ask yourself if every little thing should exasperate you. Try not to worry about anything else. Remember what Sylvia Robinson said, “Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong but sometimes it’s all about  letting go.”

Be with the people that's closest to you. Spend time with the people who love you and are close to your heart. It can be your friends, family and anybody else who have always been supportive on you. If there seem to be no available person, you can make new friends and do the approach.

Keep the balance in your life. It sounds easy, isn't  it? It’s always overlooked for it can hardly be done. We can either be hardworking or sometimes lack time for self-preservation. But when you get a good balance on things, you will start to appreciate things for what it’s worth.

Give thanks for what you have. Life is hard but there’s always something to thank for. Even if happy things have already gone, there are still more to appreciate. It will push you through the hard times so be thankful for it. You might not have the money but you have all the support that you need from the people who love you. It’s more than anything in this world. So think about that.

Don’t be too serious on things. Life could sometimes be made as a comedy. Wrapping things up could never be easy but taking a step back and be more philosophical can be more romantic. You must be happy on the limitless possibilities, wonders and absurdity that life gives you.

Nothing is permanent, keep that in mind. Let sadness, depression or grief, happen. Those things are uncontrollable. Whenever things happen, remember that in time, it will pass and everything will be okay.

Make it a must for hardships to not take over your life. Don’t behave incorrectly on the circumstances you face each day. It won’t help you get the problem solved. Have your own attitude control the side effects of life for things to be better or your whole life will be controlled with your consent.

For more related topics click here.



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Sunday, December 15, 2013

How To Be Confident



Write down and recognize your talents and good qualities. Always try to pat yourself no matter how things turn out badly. Better focus on your good qualities and don’t be perceived by your flaws to boost the way you see your self-worth. Think of your total personality in all aspects from looks, talents and social life.

Think of the obstacles of having confidence. Write down everything that are keeping you away from becoming confident. It can be friends, time management, bad background and etc. After that, ask yourself whether it’s valid or logical? Are these only assumptions? Answers would only be yes or no. Now, does it make sense for your self-worth?

Everyone struggles with confidence, remember that. There are a few people who could manage on hiding it but everyone else have struggled on being confident at some point in their life. So you are not alone.

Confidence is not a singular achievement it’s a process. Soon as you have it, it’s not yet the finished line. We always have to move forward since everyday is another starting point for every progress. Keep going to resolve the remaining hurdles of life.

You were born with it. It’s not Maybelline. It really isn’t. It’s the society that made you feel what you feel. It was learned but they can also be unlearned.

Take things out of your head to make progress. Take the past out of your head and focus on what you have to do in the present. Just stop making those thoughts inside your head swirl around you.


For more tips on how to become one, click here!

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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Impossible People: How to Deal With Them

For the most part, people know someone who is making every situation impossible. They are difficult and demanding to handle but they don’t even see that problem. Whether or not it is caused by chaos or some issues from before, here are some ways on how to interact with people like such and to protect your own sanity.





Refuse to be cynical. Impossible people are called as such for a reason. In their mind, you are the ones with all the bad behavior and you can’t say anything for you to be well thought-out. You are already at fault no matter what.

Agree to the circumstances. You can’t do something about impossible people for they exist. So face the truth. If you think that you are dealing with an impossible person, then you are.

Don’t state the problem. It will not improve your relationship. Instead, it will only make the person more complicated. Recognize that it is a special situation. They have to be treated as children, in some ways.

It’s not you, it’s them. This can be really difficult because they have complete mastery on shifting the blame. Chances would be, they will blame you more often or they will blame themselves more. Remember, impossible people “can do nothing wrong” so if you accept the responsibility for your faults and is able to improve yourself, that’s not you who have the problem.

Consider to be calm. It is important for your personal defense. Do not provoke them from making the situation more difficult. Do not stoop down to their level by talking to their face. Just stay calm.

Save your angst. Impossible people will think of it as a gift. Anything you say or do will be used against you from time and again. They tend to have amazing memories and they will not mind using the endless list from the past on you.

Prepare for projection. Expect and understand that you will be accused for all your behaviors as they see everything in you as a page. Know by now that the impossible person’s flaws and failings will be ascribed to you.

Bear in mind that you are the fault of everything. A never-ending supply of arguments is in their minds to support this and they will be more contented if you will encourage them.

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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

How to Unwind

Do you have a problem and you don’t have enough energy? Don’t you feel one hundred percent fine? Everyone needs time to unwind in any way they want but here are a few guidelines to add up your options on how to distress and chill yourself out to feel better.



1. Take a break from all things.  Sort out all that’s bugging you and have a rest. Nobody can fully keep going without having a break. Sort out your thoughts and write everything on a paper, write on a blog, speak to an animal, whatever you do. Just clear your worries and take it out of your system.

2. Organize Daily. Arrange your daily routines to get in to the right direction. Do not rush things to enjoy every day. Keep a record of all your thoughts to help yourself move forward with an anchor point.

 3. Breathe and know that worry will not solve your problems. Give space and time for yourself. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that worry will not make things better.

4. Learn to do new things. Listen to workshops, videos or anything that can provide you with opportunity and let you learn more about the world. It may not be possible to learn while you unwind but its fun with people who are enthusiasts and it can even be incredible.

5. Find positive things about the situation. Be positive and it will make you a big difference on how you handle your problems. Surround yourself with positive people and exercise to help you feel happy.

6. Talk about it. This is so far the best remedy. To whoever you may want to share it, is your decision. Talk to someone you trust and tell it all out.

7. Smile. Keep smiling even when you’re down. It can enlighten someone’s mood. If smile isn't enough, then laughter is the best medicine.

8. Tell people when they have crossed the line. Tell people how you feel about how they treat you and make them stop. Let them say what they want to say and listen in exchange. Accept opinions and remember that honesty is always the best policy. But be considerate whenever possible.

9. Have a good sleep. It is the best way to restart your body. Forget about the extremes of life and rest internally. Pamper yourself and don’t be pressured. It’s always the key to unwinding. Things will become clearer soon as you wake up.

10. Don’t rush things.  Slow down and enjoy. Realize that it’s not about how fast you are because it's always about the outcome of what you have achieve.

Now, if none of this works for you, see a professional. Nobody deserves stress and needing to see someone is hard but it will be courageous for you to do so, if you need one. There is much more relief when you gain it from people who are not judgmental of your situation.

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Saturday, December 7, 2013

How to Live Life With Courage

In contrary to what other people believe, courage is not what makes your quality or something that’s intuitive as it’s something that can be honed.

It doesn't need any staged or brave actions but you have to rise above the daily barriers in order to attain your goals and needs.

What is Courage?

Courage is a mental and emotional awareness to deal with the most difficult and challenging circumstances that sometimes seem unworkable. It’s the capability to triumph over pain, ambiguity, fear and other thoroughness that could bother one’s life.

Why develop courage?

When we decide to have courage, we develop ourselves to have the ability on confronting with problems and dealing with the most unavoidable challenges. Courage is a psychological muscle and it may produce health problems whenever we encounter harmful and counterproductive things. So it would be healthier to supply ourselves with courage as a wiser alternative.

How to Develop Courage?

Take responsibility for your state of mind, welfare and your events in life. You have to be more prolific, and happy to have a meaningful, courageous life.




“We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act. Everyday living requires courage if life is to be effective and bring happiness".

 -Maxwell Maltz


Don’t acknowledge the absence of fear. Even the most courageous man feels it.

Be willing to be courageous. A person who decides to go through a new habit or character would require willingness to be able to contemplate with the alternative and ample motivation.

Start small, somewhere. Step out of your comfort zone and venture forth. Things may seem hard at first but it’s a good start. It can be scary but things will be fine, eventually. Whenever you feel that you are holding back, ask for suggestions and other opinions. Surely though, you may have to quit on doing those things that you have always done. For example would be quitting on a job where you don’t feel suited and you have long been outgrown.

Develop faith and confidence. Have faith in yourself and in your power on making things work. This will come from having a positive attitude and with the vision of a favorable outcome. Besides, a courageous person with a courage mindset is a product of self-confidence, positive thinking and most especially, of faith.

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Meaningful Happiness

Everybody wants to be happy and everybody should  be. Constantly, distractions and the prerequisite standard of living are living in the same society where we live. In those distractions, we are losing the sense of loving our own.We are more influenced by what we see from others and are not living according to what we want. For example, in the long run of having all the social medias, these days, people are starting to dress and behave like their favorite people, more specifically referred to as, stars or artists.

Without knowing though, with all those things happening around you, you will only get further from how you expect your life to be.
 

To start off, meaningful happiness means how your family, income, likes, wants and other necessities make or break you. What among these is meaningful to you? Take your time and reflect on your  answers. Don’t just continue living preoccupied and living your life just like how others do on Facebook, television and etc. If you are seriously wanting to know about this, then you have to answer all of these questions to make a meaningful life ahead of you. Otherwise, superficial happiness will continue with its existence which will leave you empty in the end of time.

Meaningful happiness starts in YOU. And for you to experience it the most, you must have that clear vision of your life. Know the values and choices that has to be made to make a perfect life you ever wanted and not let other people to design it for you.

“You are the designer of your life. Be selective with the tools that you use or else you’ll end up with a messy portrait” -Tiffany Mason


For you to experience meaningful happiness, you have to choose on what to allow and disallow in your life. Temptations belong to the noises around you in this world and you can easily be influenced by the wrong source of energy. Whenever you allow a negative energy come into your life, you can ask yourself a lot of things and it can be about “Who wants to live this way?”, “Am I happy doing this?” “Could this be a worthy experience?”. Those types of occurrences need your decision and it’s for you to find out what’s next after doing so.

How to Start Living with Meaningful Happiness?

It starts with creating your own philosophy on how you see your life and yourself. It determines the direction of your life and the journey you experience. Learn about your personal philosophy and start your life from there. It can either unleash you to your fullest potential or hold you back whenever you start. You can feed your mind with something that can nurture your potential or something poisonous. It can be kindness, love, peace or the total opposite. Surround yourself with what provides meaning to your life. If peace is important in your life, take time to meditate with nature. And experience whatever that gives you peace to make a meaningful happiness in your life.

Start Taking Control On Your Life

1. Start reflecting on your life, tonight!

2. Know what makes you happy at the present time.

3. Does it make you happy, inside? Yes/No? Why? Has it gotten you so far? Did it actually help or hurt you?

3. Write down about what is truly meaningful in your life. Family? Any other experiences? Or community?

4. How or why or how is it meaningful for you?

When you start writing, make it an alignment of what truly means for you. If you can consistenly handle them, that is when you experience a meaningful happiness in life.




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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Myths of Fighting

1. Fighting brings out the truth as it clears the air. Heating up doesn’t make you tell all the truths you wouldn’t tell otherwise. Why would both parties say what they don’t mean and sometimes nastier than the truth when it’s always possible to discuss things in a calm manner and would lead to a more truthful conversation.

2. In the family, most of the things are fine if it all hangs out. You can be as emotional as you want and tell all the things you would not say to your friends or who else. However, you should be responsible for all that’s going to come out of your mouth, no matter in what situation you may be because everything will be remembered by everybody.

3. Fight happens, its uncontrollable. You always have the choice on how to behave and express yourself. But if you have developed the habit of fighting or never learned controlling your temper, you may have to deal with it now so you can behave accordingly.

4. Yelling in fights. Not anyone, is responsible for how you behave and so as you. You can opt to not yell back and just speak calmly or leave, instead. Your fighter won’t keep talking when he's already alone. And if he does? He must be crazy.

5. Arguing and yelling is natural when angry. Only that, it’s not the only way to show anger. Just the most dramatic way. In fact, it’s the most ineffective way to come up with a solution to why you’re angry. So why waste time?

6. It’s a family trait. Everyone in the family has it for it’s common but it;s not genetic, at all. It’s a learned behaviour and is dysfunctional as a trait. It’s a habit you have developed ad you can overcome it for the benefit of yourself. Unless you always want to be angry in your whole life, of course!

7. Ragging behaviours like cursing, throwing things, and shouting is all fine, as long as you don’t hit anyone. These are called emotional abuse which can really be damaging to your repute. If this is happening now, you should stop it, by any means
.

Fighting accomplishes nothing and is not necessary. 

Heated emotions won’t get the problems solved. So let go of it and calm for things to be fine. 

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Monday, December 2, 2013

How to Stop Making Excuses

Are you the kind of person with lots of shortcomings? If so then you have to find out why and start doing something about it now.




Constantly doing the habit of making excuses for oneself can have huge and multiple impacts ranging from being referred to as unreliable, self-protective and paranoid. Strongly, you may be well-respected forthright and in all other aspects in both professional and personal life. However, each time you cover those shortcomings with excuses, a negative reputation is bound to develop.

As for the solution, it would entirely be relying in your control. So it’s time to break the habit of making excuses.

Be Aware of Your Excuses

Your excuses have been making you problems and you know that. A person might be confronting you jokingly which may not seem respectful at all. Maybe you’re known as someone who breaks promises, someone placing blames on other people or someone who doesn't accept responsibility for any particular behavior. You might be a procrastinator who takes too much or can’t say no and get everything undone. Any of these can compromise your reputation. Your friends and colleagues see you as the last person they can approach on things and you wouldn't like that. Would you?

When you make excuses at all times, you only show a person that is not dependable. So for that, it’s time to make a change.

According to Bob Wall, “The one common denominator in every mess you find yourself in is you”. 

At this instant, you need to shed some of  your excuse-maker traits. To start with, you have to :

Recoup people’s respect and not allow them to take advantage of you

Change your weakness to a forward impression to change people’s perception of you

Level up your confidence and sense of pride

Moreover, here are some tips I could spare you:

Face facts

Acknowledge that you have such problem. Stop procrastinating and hope to resolve it yourself. You should accept the fact that your friends have already stopped accepting your explanations at face value. So why should  you not?

Get Over It Yourself

If you haven’t accepted the fact of you making excuses, you may have felt to be in the opposite of what people thinks about you. There will always be people who’d disagree, who will unjustly disrespect you but you shouldn't waste much time in creating explanations for your excuses to prove them wrong. Because if you do? You will just sound, immature.

Be Clear With Expectations

If you have that restriction on things you can only accomplish, you wouldn't be tempted to be accountable for your failure. Be direct and ask for the time commitment required and don’t feel forced to accept it of you know that you’ll end up laying the blame on others when things mess up. Think of it as a responsibility for a joint enterprise.

Be Truthful

Making excuses is a stressful lying because you have to remember all the excuses you've told other people. So stop making fancy descriptions to cast yourself in a better light. It will make the people around you uncomfortable.

Stop the Complaints

Stop looking for an easy way out. Drive yourself to change and keep reminding yourself every day, that making excuses will only give you negative implications.

Speak and Shut Up

Learn to say sorry without making a long-winded explanation. Reasons for delay won’t matter after it’s late. Challenge yourself to eliminate making excuses from now on.

Accept Criticism

Accept your faults but don’t let habitual moaner undercut your confidence. Not everyone can reinvent themselves like how you start doing it. Don’t let them get you to the same old defensive person. When you listen to critics, let it be more specific and discuss the future than taking it all back.

Build a buddy system

Concord with a person who has the same problem with you. I mean, find someone who is also into reinventing himself, make him commit to the reinvention when the old excuses are being done and vice-versa.

Write Yourself a Contract

Write down your short and long term goals with deadlines set to reach them. Seeing them might have more impact on you especially if your buddy is checking up on you with it. 

Ask for collaboration

Find solutions instead of creating justifications. If you always wake up late, have someone to wake you up on time. If you are not able to do your tasks let somebody make you do it. If you have to seek a professional motivator, then find one.

There’s no excuse.

You are the only person who is responsible for yourself. Life gives you choices and you are entitled to choose one but not to make excuses out of it. If you opt for honesty, confidence and integrity you will be happier and healthier.

People’s impression is made on how you react on external events. And it’s never too late to start things better. Show how much willingness you have for change. Start to make the solutions and not the excuses. It would take time and much effort but it’s all worth.


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Sunday, December 1, 2013

The Storms of Life



When nuisance comes, we sometimes fail to remember our knowledge about God. We struggle to summon up the answers of long ago which are previous lessons acquired from previous experiences as they seem the only reality.

The mind spins with implications of the future and emotional trouble to hold back clarity in thoughts. And in our own strengths, we lack adequate resources and abilities to meet the changes in life. So God provides what is necessary. He organizes the circumstances, glorify us and our benefit, accordingly, to His will.

Not a soul, would want to suffer in the whole duration of his life. But in the hands of God almighty, trials become tools. Adversities are used by God to carve up believers into people that He intends them to be. Jesus allowed his disciples to fear and live in apprehension on that boat, for restraint and because He wanted something far more important for their lesson and His teaching. Disciples were organized to see vulnerability, His capability and their reliance on Him.


Are you going through some challenges? Are you using what God has provided? Otherwise, click here.

Ask God to let slip of His presence in the midst of your trouble and he will endow with your needs, spiritually. 




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